MUD WRESTLING

Jim and I went out for a nice lunch today, and on the way back decided to go look at a new construction house off of Ripplewind and Brookhaven. He said that he wasn't going in, because the ground looked too wet; I sprang from the car as the house was open, and started trudging up to the front door....Suddenly I was ankle deep in caliche'! I kept going as best I could, lost my shoes to the mud just before I hit the porch, got on the porch and decided that as long as I was there I should go in, so I pulled my shoes out of the mud 'n muck and proceeded barefooted into the house....which was nice but pretty muchly the usual split plan. Saw the house and headed back to the car with Jim still in it looking at me smirking a little. I managed about four feet before I once again sank ankle deep into the mud...shoes and all. I don't know what I was thinking...I decided to sit down on a wad of grass to get my feet out of my shoes and then retrieve the shoes while I was in a better position to do so. However, an elderly (I admit it) woman with hips bigger than her boobs and 77 yr. old legs and muscles is generally off balance for any kind of sitting on a floor and especially a muddy piece of ground and CANNOT MANAGE BY HERSELF TO GET UP. That's what safety bars in the bathroom are for. Well, I wasn't in the bathroom with safety bars. And as I was sinking in deeper and deeper, Jim was still patiently waiting in the car. Four or five little boys about seven-nine years old rode by on bicycles and I said "Help", and they laughed, mocked the "help" (I heard one say, "She said "Help") and they kept right on going. Jim finally conceded to get out of the car, walked non-chalantly and slowly toward me on a large area of firm ground and grass at the edge of the muddy swamp, as I pulled one shoe out of the sucking bog, before it slowly sank in the west (there was one inch of it still showing).

It took Jim and an old stump of a tree to get me up. I was covered in wet caliche from my butt to my feet, had to be hosed off on arrival home and just got out of the shower. I am humiliated. Next time Jim says he's not going in because the ground looks too wet, you can bet I won't go in either.